Good grief! How many seasons will it take to drag the highbrows of Downton into the modern age in which they live? Carson may never get there, not to mention Lord Grantham.

So, here is a handy dandy gadget (copyrighted), to break the ice between those with and those without. Talk about shaking up story lines. Here are the pairings, although they can all be shifted around with a twitch and realignment of the wheel! As we know, in the world of Downton Abbey, nothing is certain.

Lady Mary and Ivy – Mary is sick to death of wealthy men and decides to go it with Ivy, who is competent enough to tend to Mary’s lowered expectations.

Lady Rose and Bates – Rose is attracted by the smoldering, dangerous side of Bates. If anyone can drag her into a new underworld, he can!

Lady Violet and Jimmy – “Oh sod all that,” thinks Violet as she leaves England for good and takes up with Jimmy in Cap Ferrat on the Cote d’Azur.

Lady Rosamund and Alfred – Lordy, put these two flaming redheads together and watch the sophisticated and saucy sparks fly!

Lord Grantham and Daisy – The perfect solution to Downton’s financial woes. Lord G high tails it with Daisy to William’s father’s farm where they live happily ever after amongst the pigs.

Lady Edith and Mosley – Both tired of always being the losers, Edith and Mosley decamp to India where their insight and talents are appreciated.

Tom Branson and Mrs. Patmore – All Branson (or is it Tom) wants is a good meal and some peace and quiet. He hooks up with Mrs. Patmore and has a full belly from then on (not to mention someone who “understands” him).

Lady Cora and Thomas Barrow – Cora has had more than enough and decides that Thomas (Barrow) has an entrepreneurial spirit. They head off for New York where they make multi-millions in a more elastic and less stuffy economy.

Lady Shackleton and Carson – Carson is completely fed up with the loss of decorum and “right stuff” behavior at Downton. He packs his bags and decamps with Lady Shackleton, whose husband is off somewhere in the Antarctic.

Dr. Clarkson and Mrs. Hughes – Now here are two forward thinkers! They team up to create a progressive research hospital that runs like clockwork. Between Clarkson’s bent for new medicine and Hughes firm grip on the helm, they come into big money and cure multiple diseases, all before tea time.

Michael Gregson and Anna – Anna, having tasted the thrills of card play, leaves Bates and runs off with Gregson, who opens several casinos in Las Vegas, as he writes about the Far West for The Sketch. Anna is able to take care of a little medical issue in Vegas, no problem! Poor Edith!

Isobel (Mrs. Crawley to you!) and Edna (Braithwaite) – What a pair! Together they route out lost souls and with Isobel’s tough minded compassion and Edna’s scheming mind, they breathe new life into the Socialist Party throughout Great Britain. Vacations are spent in Moscow.